Snapshots from my life, one question at a time.
How people saw me as a child:
My sense of personal identity throughout my early years centered around my parent’s divorce. Hampered by a severe anxiety disorder, my seven-year-old self had a difficult time processing my parent’s highly volatile split. I felt like I knew myself very well from a young age, yet I never felt I had any control over said person due to debilitating hypersensitivity and stroke-like panic attacks which rendered my little self immobile for hours. I was a precocious child and loved to learn, which gave me a head start in school, but it was always a difficult task for me to make friends.
I loved to read, watch Animal Planet, and wander around in nature. I related better to adults, and alienated myself from other kids, preferring my own company. Teacher’s and parents were constantly struggling to deal with me, as I lashed out, and was consistently meant to my peers. I lied a lot, beat up kids in kindergarten, argued with authority figures and bullied my little brother.
My father said I would actually give him a heart attack and if I didn’t change nobody would ever want to marry me. My mother said I should be a lawyer, and that she hoped one day I had a daughter just like me.